


Silence Upon Death~

by C_A_T_M



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Angst, Blood, Canon Compliant, Car Accidents, Character Death, Character Turned Into a Ghost, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Italics during speech is korean, Jooheon dies in the first chapter, Music, Organized Crime, Please comment 😔, Slow Burn, Undead
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2020-11-22 20:43:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20880395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/C_A_T_M/pseuds/C_A_T_M
Summary: There's only one way to put it: Jooheon is dead. His circumstances of death were tragic, brutal even, but he didn't care; not when there was a second chance at life. Though... Everything does come with a catch.





	1. We

**Author's Note:**

> Italics during speech is Korean

The air was thick with anxiety, Changkyun's hands sweaty and his heart rate permanently high ever since he had left the dorm. He swallowed, willing himself to calm down as he sat in the car, the belt fitting snugly against his body. 'See, you're safe,' he thought, 'now chill out.'

He had no idea why he was so on edge, like there was something waiting for him to slip up. Changkyun supposed it was the nerves of performing at one of the biggest events of the year: MAMA. They were trying something new for their stage and that probably was the reason for his heavy heart. 

Yes, he reasoned, that had to be it. 

The car door opened again and the engine rumbled under foot as backseat became occupied by Jooheon. He glanced at the rear view mirror, taking in Jooheon's neat and proper look. Of course they would be fixed up further at the venue, but Jooheon liked to take pride in how he looked, his jet black hair gelled back to show his forehead and his eyes accentuated with flicks of winged liner he'd done himself. 

"_Are you excited?_" Changkyun asked, the simple question hanging in the air while Jooheon looked up, tilted his head with his lips pursed a little in confusion. 

"_Of course I am, I wonder what monbebe will think of our stage,_" Nodding at the reply, Changkyun drummed his fingers on the dashboard of the car - quickly side glancing the driver before exhaling. 

"_They'll like it, hopefully_," He added, tongue poking his cheek. "_There's some new people attending this year_."

"_Oh yeah, I think A.C.E and Oneus will be there. Onlyoneof too,_" Jooheon said, white light from his phone brightening his features. If Changkyun squinted, he would be able to see that he was texting Minhyuk in the other car. 

They hadn't been able to fit in one car, their usual car taken for repairs so they had been forced to split up into two groups, hence Jooheon and Changkyun in one seperate car with everyone else in the one ahead of them. 

The feeling continued to gnaw away at his sanity, causing him to take to chewing on the inside of his cheek. "_Hey, Hyung?_"

"_Yeah_?"

"_I'm nervous._"

"_That's a good thing,_" Jooheon laughed, "_that means you still want to impress people._"

He shook his head. "_No, it's not like that,_" Trying to explain himself, he took a second to collect his thoughts, "_like something bad is going to happen._"

At this, Jooheon put his phone down and looked at Changkyun directly. His hand reached forward, taking his hand and squeezing it in a comforting manner. "_Nothing will happen. You're just nervous, Kyun. I promise_."

Feeling a little more reassured, he smiled back and returned the squeeze. "_I guess you're right._"

"_When aren't I?_" That comment earned a scoff and a fond look from the driver. "_Whoa! Guess what!_"

"_What?_" 

"_EXO is in the car in front of us! Hyung texted me saying that EXO managed to split us up, but I'm not even mad_," Squinting, Changkyun was able to make out the shape of a black SUV in front of them, though it was further than they were. It certainly was different than the 6 seater grey car the others were in. 

"_That's really them?_" Changkyun nodded while Jooheon leant forward in his seat in an attempt to spot the car; once a fanboy, always a fanboy. "_That's them there._"

"_Wow, that's so cool!_" His enthusiasm was endearing, especially when his dimples carved deeply into his cheeks with his lips pulled up into that pretty, heartstopping smile.

Changkyun twisted around in his seat, mouth opening to say something before being cut off. 

The sound of a horn blaring was deafening, the shrieking getting louder and louder with every passing second. Changkyun frowned, looking at the driver questioningly before glancing behind. It wasn't until he had seen how Jooheon's eyes had widened, filled with horror and fear, that he turned to stare at the window. 

A car was barrelling towards them, _straight_ for them.

The fog lights were on, practically blinding him as his gut screamed, his mouth screwed shut in terror. He could see the driver's face; the yellow of the taxi and the passenger in the adjacent seat. 

It all seemed to happen in slow motion. 

"Changkyu-" His name never finished passing through Jooheon's lips. 

Each motion was ingrained permanently into his mind, events replying in his mind like a highlight reel. The entire world spun, the sound of metal against metal loud and deafening. Jooheon's fingers brushed his arm, reaching out to him before the touch disappeared.

Changkyun wished he had never looked back; the scene so horrifying that it made his stomach turn immediately. No matter how many times he wished he had closed his eyes, he knew that every time he blinked, the image would flash in his mind. 

The back was completely mangled. The frame of the car obliterated until it was unrecognisable. The only way it could be described was as a lump of grey mass, the metal haphazardly sticking up and skewering everything in its path. His eyes travelled along the wreckage, bile rising up his throat as he heaved.

Where Jooheon once sat, bright eyed and excited, there was now nothing more than deadly spears of razor sharp metal and blood; so much blood. It seems to encapsulate everything, coating it in its thick spray.

Almost like a sick watercolour painting, streaks of crimson was splattered across the back, red colouring Changkyun's own suit and visage. He felt sick. The more he stared, the worse it became.

Looking down, he was able to spot something. 

Jooheon's hand lay outstretched, fingers curled up and arm limp. The once healthy glowing skin was now splattered with ruby, inches away from his own alive, breathing body.

His senses were numb, vision hazy and ears ringing. Changkyun couldn't breathe, fighting away the dark spots in his vision.

Jooheon was dead. 


	2. Will

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics during speech is Korean

Jooheon felt like he was floating. 

There was pain, no blood, nothing. Flexing his fingers, he had full control over them all and he could only swallow thickly. No light passed through his eyelids, the pitch black only adding to the feeling of nothingness. 

No matter how hard he strained, he couldn't hear anything. He swore Changkyun had been speaking to him just a few seconds ago. All he could remember was Changkyun's worried expression with his furrowed brows and frown, and blinking white lights that still hung in his mind like a fog. 

His limbs were heavy, almost as though they were encased in a thick gelatinous mixture. The smaller appendages were easier to move - with things like his arms and legs being the hardest. 

Though nothing was physically touching him, Jooheon was nervous. 

With an enormous amount of effort, he opened his eyes and was greeted with emptiness. It almost seemed like he hadn't opened them at all, the area around him like a vacuum and sucking out all the light from the world. It scared him.

Though surprisingly, he couldn't feel his heartbeat despite being able to feel every emotion clear as day: fear and anxiety being the most prevalent. 

"_H-hello_?" He cleared his throat, hand pressed tightly against his cheek to make sure he wasn't dreaming. "_Is anyone there?_" 

As expected, no one replied. His voice hadn't even echoed. A million thoughts rushed through his mind, all of them to do with his current situation. 

'What was this place? Why was he here? Where was everyone else?' They were all examples of the endless voices and questions in his head. Nonetheless, the question that was the most important was : 'Am I dead?'

Jooheon was no fool and he scarcely portrayed himself as one too, hence how being so confused and out of the loop was new for him. He couldn't say he favoured it either. 

"_Hello_?" He tried again, desperately hoping that he would get a reply this time. And even though his entire body felt like lead, he still managed to stand upright and walk around - though it was a little odd to be walking around with emptiness on all sides. 

The inky black felt like wading through ink, nothing and everything pushing against him at once. He had to be death, there was no way this kind of feeling existed in the mortal realm.

Jooheon inhaled despite not necessarily needing to, his lungs filling up with what felt like tar, blocking his airways and making his eyes widen as the urge to cough and gag tickled the back of his throat. His hand grasped his neck, barely coherent enough to notice that there was no pulse thrumming under his fingers. 

Just as fast as the shadows began to consume him, filling him from the inside out and suffocating him, it stopped. 

A golden light began to ignite itself in front of him, the bright glow of it cascading across his features and body. It had a feeling akin to the warmth of the sun - being that if you looked at it too much then it would harm you, yet still provided vital warmth. Jooheon couldn't help but be drawn to it, stepping closer while squinting. 

It shone brighter and brighter, practically blinding him and forcing him to shut his eyes, hands reaching out to cover them for fear of losing his vision permanently. 

"What's going on?" He croaked out, throat feeling hoarse and voice croaky. "Where am I?"

"My dear child," The voice spoke, his own words dying instantly in his throat. There was no gender to the being speaking, mind instead focusing on the soothing tone and how a sense of comfort seemed to wash over him. "You left before your time, and for that I am sorry."

He wished he could speak but his mouth seemed like it was glued shut, not even a squeak leaving him. Now it was confirmed, he was dead. 

"But you can go back. As it was too early, you are being offered a second chance at life."

All thoughts seemed to come to a standstill, his ears ringing as he swallowed thickly. He had the opportunity to live again? 

"I will give you three months, no more, no less. You must complete a task you have done before and do it with sincerity," He wanted to open to ask what they meant, for them to be more specific so he wasn't left floundering, though that was going to be difficult when he couldn't even muster a single word. 

Stepping forward, his eyes still closed, heat radiated from the light, warmth coursing across his body. No matter how much he tried to speak, he couldn't; he was a prisoner in his own body. Funny how a figureless light had more autonomy than him. 

"You will be unable to communicate with whom you are nor intended to and you will have no physical being. My child," The voice spoke again and his eyes widened, "I wish you the best of luck."

It almost felt like he was being tugged, his entire body jerking as a pulling sensation made him stumble, his eyes still screwed close as the breath in his lungs left him. If he had the conscious of mind, he would have likened the sensation to that of crowd surfing - moving without any directions. 

And it was then that the whole world turned black again, the warmth turning into a cold chill that enveloped his entire body.

* * *

'3 months.' 

Jooheon grunted, trying to find stable footing now.

'3 months.' 

His eyes slowly opened, blinking to try and adjust to the sudden rush of light that assaulted his vision. 

'3 mon-' That one phrase kept reading in his head like a broken record, his nerves beginning to fray as he forced his eyes to open completely- and to say that he was shocked at the change in surroundings would have been a gross understatement.

Instead of the endless void he had been in earlier, this place seemed much more humane; more like something tangible. 

"_Wha-_" Brows knitting together, he looked down at himself. He was still wearing the same outfit he last remembered himself in - a plain maroon dress shirt and black trousers with a chain linking the belt to the pocket. 

Slowly, he took this moment to try to compose himself and get to grips with the information that had been slammed into him. First of all, he was dead, second of all, he only has three months to try and earn his life back and lastly, he was it a random place with no idea where it was. 

Great, he thought, what a fucking amazing turn out. How had he managed to get from heading to MAMA to being in a bedroom?

Really, all he wanted to do was scream out loud, to yell and curse in whatever language his tongue would curl into. However, he wouldn't do any of that. Instead, he would count his blessings (i hear could call it that) and try to get his life back. 

Yes. He decided with a firm nod, he was going to do whatever it took to come back to life. And the first step of that was to look around and gauge exactly where he was. 

Glancing around, he found the scheme to be quite cute. It was mostly cream and black, streaks of colour color decorating the outer edges of the wall. Paintings and frames were hung up neatly, with some in glittery frames that shone even under the scarce natural light that leaked through the blinds. 

Jooheon began walking, spotting a drawer with items and trinkets across the top of it. He reached out, spotting a vanity mirror, only to gasp loudly in shock and retract his hand away like he was burnt upon touching it.

Instead of feeling anything solid under his finger tips, the mirror had felt like air as he passed through it. Not even the cool tinge of metal could be felt. Clutching his hand to his chest, he stared at the mirror - his reflection nowhere in sight either. 

Just what the hell was he?!

If he hadn't already been dead then he was sure he would have died from a heart attack there and then. 

Moving away from the dresser, he neared the bed, hovering at the side of it skittishly. There was quite a prominent bump under the covers, clearly signaling that someone was under them. Jooheon felt like a creep; like a weird stalker that had broken into their home. 

The last thing he wanted to do was wake up a stranger and bother them. 

Nonetheless, he sat down anyway, half convinced that it could have been Changkyun under the covers. They did say the more you wished, the more likely it was to come true.

He gulped thickly despite not needing to, hand raised to shake them awake when he quickly remembered the mirror and it lowered again. Apparently he couldn't interact with smaller objects since he was perched on the bed just fine. 

It was now or never.

"_Excuse me?_" He spoke, clearing his throat.

Nothing happened.

"_Hello?_" He tried again, a little louder this time. Still no reaction.

"_HELLO?_" Under any other circumstances, he would have felt bad for yelling, but right now he couldn't have cared less. It was an emergency and his manners had died with him.

They jumped beside him, the bed shaking as they groaned. "What the fuck?" Came the soft grunt, just audible enough for him to hear. Slowly, they sat up while rubbing remnants of sleep from their eyes, lips curled downwards into a frown. 

He realised, with great anxiety, that the person in the bed was female. Though he didn't really spend much time analysing her looks due to the situation. 

Since she had muttered in english, he supposed that he may as well speak english as well. It was too typical that he would be sent somewhere where he had to speak something apart from his native language. 

"Hello?" Every syllable was spoken with trepidation, hesitation loud and clear. 

As soon as the last sound hit the air, she shot up. Eyes wide and full of terror, she looked around for the source of the sound before zeroing in on his seated figure. If he could have felt his heart lurch, he certainly would have felt it do so in that moment. 

First there was a silent, and innocent kind of quiet that could have passed as comfortable. However, it was subsequently followed by a loud scream that startled him, a hanger flying right past his head. 

"What the FUCK?! WHO ARE YOU?!" Jooheon swore he was going to go deaf, standing up to get away from the (rightfully) scared and angry woman. Her hand moved, reaching for something under her bed and she maintained eye contact, staring into him with such ferocity he was sure that he was going to burst into flames. 

With hues painted so brightly with hostility and confusion, it was no surprise nor a shock that she produced a bat from under her bed, her figure moving quickly out of the bed as she held it between her two hands; her stance was impeccable. 

"I SAID, who the fuck are you?" 

Not used to such a volatile reaction, he cursed lowly under his breath as all his thoughts disappeared. "Jooheon," He said lamely, too stunned to elaborate. 

"Okay, Jooheon, why the hell are you in my house?" Stance remaining strong, he watched her knuckles turn pale as she tightened her grip. He had no doubt she would swing too, and with a hell of a lot of force.

"I-i uh, I-" Really, he wasn't helping himself by being such a stammering and nervous mess, but what else was he supposed to do? It wasn't as though the glowing voice had given him any further instructions - especially on how to deal with an angry lady. "I woke here."

Clearly she hadn't been expecting that answer because her grip loosened ever so slightly, her brows furrowed in confusion. "What?" 

Jooheon stayed still, eyeing her warily despite knowing she couldn't do any damage. 

There was a brief silence, fire filled hues roaming over him before narrowing. "Did we sleep together? I don't remember if we did."

"No!" He didn't mean to sound so aggressive, especially because she wasn't unattractive by any means. "We didn't."

Creeping backwards, she grabbed her phone from the desk and pushed the power button thrice; a move he recognised as an SOS. "Hey! Don't call the police!" 

Expression morphing, she sneered, laughing humourlessly and mockingly at him. "Yeah okay, why shouldn't I? You broke into my fucking house. You're lucky I haven't beaten the crap out of you."

Cold fear shot down his spine at her words, reminding him that he should be viewing this from her perspective. Jooheon knew he would have lost his mind if he saw someone strange sitting on the end of his bed - no way would he have been as composed as her. 

"I- I really woke up here," He held up his hands, "I promise."

She looked like she was debating believing his story, lips pursed as the SOS continued to go out. His gaze flickered down to the device and she instantly held it close to her chest. 

"No you didn't. I don't know who you are," Slowly but surely, frustration was building. He felt like a child, left to wander around and figure out the world for himself while everyone stood around and watched him, pointing their fingers at him to mock him. "Why are you here? If you wanted to steal something, why would you wake me up?"

Unconsciously, he took a step forward and shs steeled her hold on the wooden bat. "I don't want to steal. I-" he licked his lips, willing himself to spit out the words that weighed heavy on his tongue, '' I think I'm a ghost."

Wincing at her sarcastic chuckles, he moved forward in an attempt to explain himself. Before he knew it, or could even register the action, the bat had swung and travelled straight through his torso. Had it hit his physical form, it definitely would have broke a few ribs judging by the loud 'whoosh' that followed. 

"Oh god," She murmured, trying again quickly and frantically. This time the bat flew through his head, not connecting with anything but the air. "Oh fuck, you weren't joking?" 

He nodded. 

The bat lowered, the SOS cancelled with a single swipe across her phone screen. "Stay there. Don't move or I'll scream," Jooheon obliged, not wanting to hear any more screaming.

Sitting back down, the bed creaking from the sudden weight, she continued to stare at him like he was an alien - which in all fairness, he kind of was. 

"Can you-" She breathed in, "can you try and pick up the photo frame on the desk?" 

Her voice had gone meek, barely audible and guilt coursed through him, knowing he was the reason why. "Okay."

Walking over, he saw the picture frame. It was an image of her and another woman. She was smiling broadly, eyes closed as her arm wrapped around the other person. The sun bathed them both in a golden glow that he likened almost to the glowing voice. The woman was also smiling a gummy smile that reminded him a lot of Yoongi. Her hair was cut short, black locks reaching just below her ear. 

Then, with all the energy he could produce, he attempted to pick up the frame. Feeling her stare burn into him, he tried even harder to try to grasp it. 

And then, like a miracle, he managed to get a hold of it. His eyes widened and hers did too, excitement quickly making it was through his bod-

Before he could stop it, the hold was no longer there, the frame passing through him and falling to the floor with a loud clatter. There was a deafening silence that followed, his fingers curling into a fist at his side.

He had never experienced his emotions change so fast: unadulterated excitement turning into a toxic mess of self pity and humiliation.

"You really are a ghost," She whispered, more out of disbelief than fear. He felt the tiniest bit of relief at that, knowing she wasn't freaked out by him as a whole. 

Her phone vibrated and he looked over, a notification on screen. 'SOS Needed?'

"Will you still call the police?" They both stared at the device, her hand slowly extending to swipe it away. 

"No," She said, looking away from him and at the wall opposite, "they'll think I've gone crazy. What would I even say? 'Yes hi, there's a fucking ghost in my room, send the police please.'"

In spite of everything, he found himself smiling a little at her dramatics - finding them highly amusing. "Maybe."

Huffing, she still held the weapon in her hands but instead of trying to hit him again, she grabbed her covers and dove under them, the bat cradled like a child. "Okay um, Jooheon? Please go away," At any other time, he would have felt offended but he obliged, walking out of the bedroom and into the hallway to let her sleep. 

It wasn't until he phased through the door with hindrance, that he completely realised that he had no damn clue what he was doing. 

* * *

For the few hours that she had fallen asleep for, Jooheon had taken to wandering around the place. It wasn't a flat like he had assumed it to be, more so a semi detached house that was still spacious. The decor was nice and clean, filled with little items and trinkets that at first glance, could have been overlooked. Mostly, the colour scheme seemed to be creams and blues, with the occasional streak of other colours like lime and black to decorate. 

Sitting on the (what he assumed to be) plush couch, he sat and fiddled with his fingers. The TV was directly opposite him, the curtain covered windows just adjacent.

From what it looked like, she seemed to live alone. There wasn't hair nor hide of another person and he hadn't seen anything that would indicate a second person or even a third person. 

Just as he was about to lose his mind from boredom, the faint creaking of a door's hinges suddenly rang out in the silence of the room. There was footsteps and then there was nothing except silence. He half wondered whether she had just gotten up to go to the bathroom before he sensed another figure in the room with him. 

Glancing behind him towards the doorway, he realised that she was stood there and was very pointedly avoiding eye contact. 'Okay,' Jooheon thought, 'I can deal with that.' 

She walked over to the connecting kitchen, the doorway wide enough to let him see into it. Very slowly, she poured milk into a bowl and then cereal - coco pops if he could see correctly. (His eye sight seemed to have gotten miles better too, though it was probably compensation for being a ghost.)

The spoon clinked as it hit the side of the ceramic bowl, the sound of footsteps returning as she came back into the living room. Jooheon shuffled up on the sofa and she looked very briefly towards him before sitting on the other one. 

Very quickly, he understood what she was doing - ignoring him. It was rude, yes, but justified? Maybe so. 

A thick, uncomfortable silence filled the air, sucking out any entertainment he might have had. He wanted to run away yet he still felt compelled to stay. 

Leaning back into the sofa, he chewed on his lip before the reflection of sunlight that seeped through the window caught his attention. Bouncing off of the TV screen, he had the undeniable urge to turn it on.

"Um, can you please turn the TV on?" Expecting her to ignore him, she surprised him by getting up and taking the remote, turning it on with a swipe of her finger against the on button. She messed with the buttons while it loaded up, still not looking at him. 

It finished starting up, the home page of the TV onscreen. "The Korean news," He spoke, quickly adding a "please."

Pressing on the TV guide, she scrolled down the options before he pointed to one. "That one."

Obliging to his wishes, she pressed on the channel and put the remote down. There were no english subtitles so he doubted she would understand anything. 

'_Tonight at 5:43pm, members of the boy group Monsta X were involved in a fatal car accident. Im Changkyun, known as I.M and Lee Jooheon were involved, with the passengers of the other car still unidentified-_' The woman continued to talk but he couldn't register any of it, instead he was focused on the horrific scene that was in front of him.

Most of the scene had been blurred out and hidden from public viewing, but he recognised everything. From the mangled remains of the car he was in to the taxi that had struck him. 

Images of ambulance and police sirens flashed on the screen, the sound loud and deafening in the quiet room. Videos of people's Snapchats were shown, the swearing and profanity of the videos blocked out but the content remained. 

Jooheon felt sick.

The crushed car was out of view, the ambulance shown instead and he squinted. Firefighters cut away at the car, revealing both Changkyun and their driver who were stuck. However, he couldn't get a clear view before they panned away, back to the woman that had been speaking. He couldn't tell whether he was grateful or irate.

'_The driver of the Taxi had been seen swerving on the road moments before the collision that struck and killed Lee Jooheon. Whether or not this accident was a result of drunk driving is unknown._' 

An image of him was put in the corner, a selfie he had taken with Yoshie and Gucci a little while ago, where he had been playing with them and decided to take the candid image. It really was bittersweet seeing them again.

He couldn't stomach anymore, his eyes tightly shut as he turned away. "Can- can you turn it off please?"

She followed his request without hesitation, the TV turning off in an instant with nothing but the glaring back screen staring back at him. 

His fists were tightly curled, the weight of everything piling itself on to his shoulders and slowly crushing him under the weight. Suddenly, he stood up, rushing to walk out of the room without saying another word. 

Jooheon knew that she was watching him go, that her own eyes were wide and full of shock despite not having understood a majority of what was said. 

Right now, he couldn't bring himself to care.

* * *

Before he really knew where he was going, he had ended up back in her bedroom, passing through the door and only then noticing where he was. In a coherent state of mine, he would have been embarrassed at invading someone's personal space; nonetheless, this could be excused by the fact that he was anything but coherent. 

Sitting back down on the bed, he thought about what he had seen and what was happening.

Here he was in a foreign place, presumably thousands of miles away from his home of South Korea and stuck indefinitely as a ghost. Privileged wasn't quite the word he would use to describe himself currently.

Weirdly, he wasn't too affected by the mention of his own death - having already been made aware of that fact. However, the thing that had had him telling was the visual of Changkyun being cut out of the car.

He couldn't even begin to imagine the hurt that must have pulsed through Changkyun, especially since he has also been in the same car. The other members would surely be affected, though he highly doubted it would be to the same degree. 

Jooheon prayed that neither Changkyun or the driver had been too hurt, as well as the driver of the taxi. He couldn't wish for anything else. 

He sighed, messing with strands of his hair before getting up again, feeling restless. Making his way back over to the desk, he stared at the photo frame that had been picked up and adjusted. She must have fixed it after he had left the room and put it back into place. 

Wanting to distract himself, he redirected all of his thoughts towards the frame in front of him. If he wasn't surrounded by other stimuli, he had a higher chance of forgetting - even if only for a moment. 

The glass had been cleaned, not a single mark on the picture nor the surrounding wooden frame. Jooheon peered closer, chewing lightly on his lips. Now that he could get a clear view of her face, without being hindered by either person's anxiety or circumstances, he finally managed to acknowledge how pretty she was. 

Her eyes were bright, full of life and joy as she squeezed the woman in her arms. While a hat cast a slight shadow over her face, her features were still prominent and pretty. Every contour and slight texture to her face only further accentuated her beauty. However, if he had to name one, he would say that her genuine smile was the most eye catching things about her. 

Looking away from the photo, Jooheon let out a shuddering exhale. Nothing was going right and he could either deal with it or sit around and cry. And no matter how tempting the latter was, he knew only the former would bring him action. 

He had been put here for a reason and Jooheon was nothing if not persistent. Taking a moment to he anchor himself, there was a new found determination existing deep within his bones. 

Hell would freeze over before he gave up. 

(Yet, there was a little voice that nagged and chewed at his conscious. As much as he wished that she had followed him, even if to give him some poorly worded comfort; she never walked through the door to do so.) 


	3. Transcend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics during speech is Korean

Jooheon couldn’t believe how much time had passed since he had gone into her room, sitting on the bed and wondering about what he should do. Of course this was not a normal situation and he would have been stupid to treat it like one, but he was at a loss. 

The analog clock ticked endlessly over head, the hands moving at their own, seemingly made up, pace. Each tick and tock drove itself into his skull; it surely would have driven him insane if he was still alive. 

Reality felt like it was slipping through his translucent fingers, his world crumbling and reforming continuously as he looked at everything around him. The photo frame, the bed under him, even the light that poured through the window in gentle golden rivulets, was as real as he wished he was. 

The spirit had said he could only communicate with the people he was intended to speak with, and he couldn’t help but wonder who else it could have been if not her. She clearly wanted nothing to do with him judging by the cold reaction he’d gotten. 

Could he blame her? Obviously not. 

She had reacted with a lot more composure than he would have, though Jooheon was more of a tender hearted person than most and easily frightened. If he had been in her shoes, he more than likely would have fainted. Jooheon couldn’t even bring himself to smile at the absurd thought.

His shoulders sagged as he held his face in his hands. He had three months to figure out what to do and he was still just as close to working it out as he had been a few hours ago: not at all.

However, it didn’t seem like he needed to be stuck in his own self wallowing pity party for much longer, the handle slowly turning as the door opened and light from the hallway flooded the room. He stood up quickly, watching her figure enter the room. 

Unreadable emotions stared at him for a split second, glossing over his figure before brushing past him like he was nothing - only a mere projection of her mind that she’d learnt to ignore. Jooheon frowned lightly at the action. 

Her movements seemed practised almost to perfection, ignoring him as she made her way over to her closet. The doors were opened, each article of clothing hanging neatly as her gaze went from one to the next, deciding what to wear. 

He honestly didn’t know if he should’ve been impressed or offended by her ability to look right through him. Instead, he remained silent, quietly watching her move around and pick out clothing. The items she chose were pretty, nothing too flashy yet not boring either; he could have seen himself wearing them if he wasn’t stuck in his half dead spectre state. 

Her expression remained vacant as she pulled her shirt over her head, leaving her in her undergarments as Jooheon panicked, turning around immediately with wide eyes. Just how serious was she about pretending he wasn’t there?

Instead of leaving like any normal person, he stood there, floundering for something to do as he heard the rustling of clothing behind him. Embarrassment rushed through his, though he felt the slightest semblance of gratitude that his ears weren’t glowing a bright crimson. 

Closing his eyes, he clenched his fists, willing himself to think of something beyond the woman behind him. Quite honestly, he wished he could have returned the attitude yet the voice kept echoing in his head. 

He didn’t know if he could communicate with anyone else apart from her, and he didn’t know if he could risk trying to interact with other people either. No matter how much they were both going to loathe it, Jooheon was clearly here to stay for the foreseeable three months. 

The seconds dragged by until he finally heard the rustling stop. Gulping, he slowly looked over his shoulder and felt relief rush over him at seeing her in a fully dressed state, albeit with different clothes than before. 

Eyes flickering upwards, he made eye contact with her and he almost instinctively took a step back. Unrestrained emotion stared back at him, feelings that he couldn’t clearly identify, no, not with the way she was looking at him like if she stared hard enough, he would combust into flames. It was odd, really, just how intimidated he felt when he was supposed to be the being with the higher power - what was a human compared to a ghost?

Even with the miles of space between them, the clenching of her jaw was clear, the grinding sound of her teeth almost seeming to echo in his own mind. Clearly, he wasn’t welcomed. 

His mouth opened, words failing him momentarily before he sighed, gaze lowering to the floor. “I… I’m sorry. I wish I wasn’t here to make you feel bad.”

Foot falls echoed, his fists clenching tighter as he willed for her to say something and rid him of the agony his mind was putting him through. ‘Please,’ he thought, 'please say something.’

And yet, even when her voice did reach him, he almost wished she hadn’t uttered a word. 

“I’m going out. Do what you want,” she spoke, voice decided of any human emotion or empathy like he had hoped for, yearned for. Instead, he was doused with cold water and left to gasp for air as his head was held under water. 

She turned on her heel, clothes held tightly to her chest as she walked out of the room, the door left ajar as warm light flooded in again. It seemed to mock him. 

For a moment, he considered staying indoors. Maybe he could try to figure out what connection he had to this woman he had never seen before, or even just look around for some clue to _something._ Desperation clawed at him before he forced himself to calm down, staring hard at the strand of illuminated flooring. He said he would be brave, he had to be, and to be brave now meant getting out of his comfort zone. 

If that meant he had to trail behind a woman who wanted nothing to do with him, so be it. 

Inhaling deeply (despite not needing to), he slipped past the door, still shocked that he had phased through it easily and not collided with the wood and knocked out a tooth. Perhaps he could get used to some of the 'perks’; it was a big maybe.

Walking alone down the corridor, he found her while she was shrugging on a jacket, a backpack slipped over her shoulders straight after as she headed to the front door. Jooheon followed her quickly, not wanting to lose her already when he had just made up his mind to tail her. 

The key turned in the lock, the jingling of the charms and metal oddly comforting as the gears shifted and a gust of air made her curtains swing to and fro. For a moment, she looked back, as though searching for something, before spotting him just a few meters behind her and shutting the door. 

Tough crowd. Though no door was going to keep him out, he thought while he phased through it easily, jogging to keep up with her fast paced movements. Briefly, he saw her look at him out of the corner of her eye even if her gaze snapped straight back ahead of her as soon as she realised he’d seen her looking. 

It made him smile, the sheer childishness of the old was funny in a morbid kind of way. Instead of focusing on her lack of focus on him, he decided to look around at the scenery. 

Though it hardly resembled the country he called home, there was an intrinsic beauty within every breeze that ruffled the leaves and every cloud that loomed overhead in the crystal blue sky. Everything was the same and yet it was so different. Even the gravel underfoot seemed alien, the crunch sounding different to his adjusting mind. 

He gazed doe eyed at the buildings, admiring the fine architecture and the way it flowed into the horizon and landscape. Jooheon knew that she probably wasn’t looking around like he was, more accustomed to these changes and what they brought. To him, everything was foreign and a reminder of his unnatural presence.

The distant sounds of traffic and of nature were amplified in the silence between them both. Normally, he would have someone to speak to or something to occupy him, now he had nothing but his own thoughts. 

They moved quietly and she hurried along swiftly, her footsteps almost difficult to keep up with. The racket of traffic became louder and he felt himself tense up, reminded of the blaring horn that had assaulted his senses just moments before he was stuck in nothingness. 

Images of Changkyun’s horrified face replayed themselves at the forefront of his mind, forcing him to relieve them one by one as the noises from the cars began to get louder. Amidst this, he had stopped walking, staring at the ground with a twisted expression - his visage curled up and morphed to reflect the torment his own memory was putting him through. 

She had stopped, no longer sensing his presence just behind her. Instead, she looked behind and spotted him a few metres away, the distance between them only further amplified by the unbothered sounds of the world: of wind, of leaves falling, of naïvety.

Squeezing his eyes shut, he willed himself to carry on walking, looking up to see her gazing at him with concern - an emotion that he wouldn’t have dreamt would be on her face regarding him. The simple act warmed his heart, a small smile forming on his lips as he realised she wasn’t ignoring him completely. 

She waited, watching him silently as he made his way back towards her, though now he was standing at her side - a pull almost dragging him to stand there. As soon as he had reached her side, she began walking again: a much slower pace utilised than before.

A dull bass beat pulsed in the air, his head turning towards her as he realised it was coming from her earphones. Of course his affinity for music hadn’t faded at all; not even death could drag that from him. 

“Um… What song is this?” He questioned, the syllables awkwardly hanging in the air and he nearly cringed as she turned her head to look at him, steps stuttering a little from surprise. “I like the sound.”

Her lips pursed and he half expected her to remain silent; to not answer his question and carrying on walking like her pausing was only a momentary paper in concentration. However, he was reminded that he did not know this woman at all, his eyes following her hand as she took her phone out of her pocket and showed him the name of it. 

'Boss Bitch’ it read, by Doja cat.

Okay, maybe that was not the kind of response he was expecting, but he could still deal with crumbs. “I know her,” he spoke, hoping she was still listening to him over the sounds of the music, “she has nice songs.”

She nodded as she took out an earphone, letting him hear it better without disturbing the other members of the public. “She does,” she confirmed and tried his hardest to concern his shock, a small smile making its way onto his face, dimples carving into his skin despite himself. He felt her eyes roam over him, though when he turned to look, she was already looking ahead at the road.

Though he had no idea where they were going, he appreciated being out and about. He didn’t think he could have kept a stable mind by staying inside in her house all the time. It was rather twisted how he would have rather been with a stranger than with himself - though being a little uncomfortable in a stranger’s home was only to be expected. At least he knew that she couldn’t hurt him even if she wanted to, if judging by how the bat hadn’t even made him blink. 

The streets were long and winding, confusing to his untrained mind, but she navigated them with ease, not phased at all by the sounds of hustle and bustle. He found it mesmerising here, yet he knew that was how he seemed when he walked around the streets of Seoul; practised and poised. 

They were soon at a bus stop, the item itself not giving much shelter from the elements aside from a simple hood made from plastic. At least it wasn’t raining. 

Taking out her earphones, she tucked them away into her pocket and glanced at her watch for the time. Her gaze wandered from the surrounding buildings and infrastructure before settling on him. 

“Why did you come with me?” The urge to look behind him and see if there was anyone else she was addressing was almost consuming, though a silly urge nonetheless since he knew there was no one around at all. 

How was he supposed to explain that he would much rather be out and about with a woman he didn’t know at all than be by himself with nothing to keep himself from going insane? 

The answer was, he didn’t explain. He instead, smiled: a strained smile that even the blind would’ve been able to say was poorly executed. “A free vacation,” he said simply, not elaborating further. 

Her eyebrows furrowed, staring at him in a mixture of confusion and bewilderment. “A free holiday?” She echoed, almost disbelieving of the words coming out of her mouth. “I’m sure a holiday would be more interesting than following someone to their school.”

Jooheon merely shrugged, for once being the one to avert his eyes first. “It’s not my first choice, but it’s different to Korea,” he said simply, more than relieved that she accepted that explanation. Either that or she didn’t care to converse with him any further. Nonetheless, he assumed that her school had a library and he could begin his search there: grasping at straws was better than thin air.

* * *

The first thing that Jooheon thought when he saw the school was just how large it was. The building seemed to loom over them, casting an enormous shadow over the asphalt and concrete. Within the design of it, there was a mixture of both older and more modern architectural styles; he assumed that it had been repurposed and renovated. 

Walking next to her made the surroundings seem a little less scary, the sound of traffic much closer now as they crossed the road to get to the entrance. Jooheon himself hadn’t had much of the student experience, many of his younger years spent training and wishing to debut - there simply hadn’t been enough time for him to have the same kind of encounters as his peers. 

As they entered the building, he was immediately struck by how sleek and modern everything was. Winding pillars held up the ceiling, with rich, stained wood bordering the walls. Giant panes of glass allowed natural light to filter through, illuminating the ground floor perfectly regardless of the beautiful lights that hung delicately from the ceiling. “Wow,” he couldn’t help but exclaim.

She carried on walking through the winding corridors and throughout the building before entering a large hall - a lecture hall, he quickly recognised. 

Most of the seats near the front were filled up, making her move towards the back, her bag slipped off her shoulders as she brought out her laptop. Jooheon couldn’t find it in himself to want to stay and listen to a lecture in a language he wasn’t completely fluent in. Instead, he thought that maybe exploring would be a much more entertaining waste of his time; it wasn’t like anyone else would be bothered by his presence anyway. 

“I’m going exploring,” he spoke, whispering despite himself as she glanced up at him briefly and nodded. 

He strolled along at a leisurely pace, going down the corridors and having a hell of a time looking around a different building. Everything was so fancy, reminding him more of a palace than anything you would be taught in. Travelling along them, he stopped to read every sign he could find; he may as well try to improve his english while he was here. 

It was weird, really, to be able to see others with them having no perception of you. He was able to see the ladies at the front desk talking away, drinking tea as they gossiped about someone before they stopped as a student passed by. He could easily hear the conversation of two young people as they discussed their favourite game and how their professor was a pain in the arse.

It was real and so awkwardly candid that it felt rather perverse, feeling like he was invading their privacy despite them being out in the open. 

Rays of sunlight shining through left shadows on the floor, following people as they walked by and creating an image of their humanity. Jooheon looked down, in the vain hope that he would have a shadow. There was nothing and he couldn’t help the pang of disappointment that struck his chest 

Shaking his head at himself, he took a turn away from the front of the university, not wanting to be reminded of anything anymore. 

Finally, after wondering for around 5 more minutes or so, he finally read a sign that spoke of what he wanted: the library. He passed through the large wooden door easily, slipping through without any attention being drawn to him. 

The library was definitely larger than life, dwarfing him almost instantly as he looked upwards at the second floor that was filled with nothing, but shelves upon shelves of books and knowledge. 

Some students were scattered around, many of them with earphones in as they read textbooks or worked on their laptops. In the far back, he spotted the librarian’s desk, the man working at the desk focused on his own computer. 

Lost on where to start, he looked up at the different signs, trying to find anything that would be useful to him. Many of them were textbooks you could take out, before they started changing into non fiction - history and autobiographies crowding the shelves. Clearly there wasn’t anything that he wanted on the first floor. 

Heading up the stairs, despite being able to float (it made him feel more human he would argue should anyone ask him why), he found that the second floor had more on fiction and other non typical things that universities didn’t teach about. The upstairs was more for relaxing and reading, it seemed. 

It also seemed like it wasn’t frequented very often, a light layer of dust clinging onto the top of some bookshelves, coating them with age and the sign of human ignorance.

Jooheon walked through the aisles, silently admiring the different varieties and the sheer volume of everything available. The last time he had been in anything remotely resembling a library was when he had gone to a music shop with Changkyun to buy their own album. 

The memory made him swallow thickly, wishing to will away any thoughts of his members as the aching in his heart settled again - though, oddly enough, he was unable to cry. It was more than weird what things had been chosen and discarded for his spectral form, but he had three months to figure it all out. 

Humming softly, the sound only for him to hear, he stuck out his hand, ignoring how his fingers went through the books and spines instead of gliding over them. The romance section passed him by (one of the larger sections, he noted), with the adventure and fantasy following closely. Had he had more time, he would have loved to sit down and browse through the selection of graphic novels. 

He sighed: no dust moved from his exhale. Nothing was shifted and nothing was affected.

Glancing upwards, he stared at the sign. 'The occult/paranormal’ it read: just what he had been searching for. He hovered around the shelves, looking for something that might pique his interest. 

Endless stories of hauntings filled the rows, densely packed together as he examined the titles. Many of them seemed to be fiction, describing horror and of ancient horrors that left no soul unclaimed. Jooheon frowned a little, he definitely was cuter than any eldritch being. 

Kneeling down to look at the bottom row, he looked over the different titles. These books were the dustiest ones, with a thick layer of it coating them and suffocating them. He could barely read the titles, unable to wipe them clean either. However, they were the ones that interested him the most as they were real accounts of people experiencing paranormal activity. 

He squinted, leaning down further to read them. The sight would have been comical to anyone else looking at him, with his body flat against the floor as he sounded out the titles, tasting them on his tongue to see which one had the right fit. 

And it wasn’t until he had gotten nearly to the end of the row, that he found something that matched that description of what he was looking for. 

Bound in what seemed like faux leather, the golden lettering stamped into the spine attracted his attention immediately. 'Life after death - a second chance’, he read as his eyes widened, reaching out to grab it and growing frustrated when his hand slid through it like it was nothing but air. 

After his fifth failed attempt at grabbing it and tenth curse word, he gave up, instead memorising the title to tell her later. Standing up and instinctively brushing himself off, he walked further down the abandoned area, wanting to look around more. 

Yet, the more steps he took, the more he felt suffocated, like a weight was pressing down harder and harder on his chest. His airways felt like they were closing, the familiar feeling of being encased in tar and being unable to breath began to come back to him as he stumbled. 

The world blurred at his fingertips, no longer forming any shape as his vision swam, the shelves no longer distinguishable from the ceiling or the floor. Unable to fight the feeling anymore, he closed his eyes shut, praying that he wasn’t dying down a second time when suddenly, it disappeared. 

He no longer felt the exhausting pressure on his body, his chest no longer feeling like it was going to pop. Even though he didn’t need to, he inhaled raggedly and opened his eyes. 

Instead of the darker and more reclusive second floor of the library, where time seemed to have no influence or bounds, he was instead stood in a fully lit lecture hall, the sudden brightness threatening to blind him. Bewilderment coloured his expression, looking around before he spotted her right next to him, her focus on the laptop in front of her and on writing down notes. 

“_What the fuck?_” He spoke, more so to himself than anyone else. 

She paused in her typing, hues flickering upwards to look at him with mild confusion. 'Yeah, me too,’ Jooheon thought. 

“I was … In a library and now I’m here,” he spoke, brows furrowing as she continued to watch him. “It’s like I flied here,” He tried to explain and she seemed like she understood, nodding slightly at his explanation, though not saying out loud. He wasn’t sure if it was because of the other people around her or if she just didn’t want to reply to him. 

He stood up - not bothering to attempt to sit down. There was no point anyway. He looked ahead at the screen and realised that it seemed to be a science lecture of some sort. It would have been more interesting if he could understand the jargon, but he digressed. 

Gaze glued to the clock, he fidgeted constantly as he looked at it. Couldn’t it hurry up? He had things he needed to do and 3 months to do them in. 

Finally, the bell rang and he could have sang from joy. And, to be fair, she looked like she could have done the same. The soft crease between her brows disappeared as soon as she stood up, replaced with a more neutral expression as she looked at him. 

“Can we… Can we go to the library again? I saw a book that maybe helps me?" 

She nodded and began walking, his figure moving right beside her. Walking through the halls now felt a lot less awkward, less intimate with the hoards of students that had just gotten out of their classes and were now either on a break or going to their next class. 

The journey there with her was faster, quicker paced than his slow meandering. Clearly, she knew where she was going. While it had taken him around 10 minutes to find it, she’d reached it in 2. He really did feel like a helpless toddler.

"It’s on this floor,” he pointed upwards and she began to walk in the direction of the stairs when a name was called out, dragging her attention away from him. They turned around, looking at the person that had spoken.

They were a woman, their figure rather small, smaller than hers and definitely smaller than him. He tilted his head, examining her. The young woman had a pretty face, angular yet topped off with soft cheeks that added a youthfulness to her features. The scarf wrapped around her head matched her outfit: a light blue to collab with her jacket. That particular detail really pleased his inner fashionista. However, he quickly noticed her red rimmed eyes and slight frown. 

“Uh, hey,” she spoke, her voice trembling a little, “can I talk to you for a moment?" 

"Miyra? What’s wrong?” Jooheon watched as she stepped forward, taking the girl’s hand in her own and guiding her to a table. He couldn’t even bring himself to be annoyed, instead moving behind with them - though keeping his distance, not wanting to intrude.

“I-i just wanted to tell you, because I know you won’t judge me, but it’s been really hurting since I found out,” Miyra sniffled, wiping her eyes as she handed her a tissue. “You know how I listen to kpop?" 

There was an affirmative hum and Jooheon couldn’t stop himself from listening. 

"O-one of the members from the group I listen to just died,” Jooheon moved closer, feeling his insides twist as the girl cried, her eyes quickly turning bloodshot. “It was so unexpected and I’m so mad and upset.”

“It’s okay, baby, I would imagine you’re upset,” He caught her eyes for a split second, “can I ask who it was?”

The air seemed to still and freeze, encasing them in a thick layer of ice and tension as she spoke. “Lee Jooheon,” came the small reply, “from Monsta X.”

Jooheon could only watch as one of his fans broke down over his death, her muffled sniffling creating gaping cracks in his heart. How desperately he wished to reach out and comfort her, to say that he was okay and he would try his hardest to be back, but his words died out before they could ever come to fruition. He was merely a spectre, nothing tangible except to one person alone.

“He was so talented and one crazy bitch took that away, I can’t imagine how his bandmates feel,” she nodded, gently rubbing her thumb over the girl’s hand, comforting her the best she could despite the situation. “Do you know what happened?”

“I only know what I saw on the news, but it was all in Korean so I didn’t understand much,” Miyra exhaled shakily, wiping her eyes with the tissue and Jooheon had to look away, unable to bare the sight of her puffy eyes that were because of him. If he could have cried, he would have. “Was there something else?”

Miyra nodded, fiddling with the ends of her scarf. “They’re still not sure of everything, but they think that a sasaeng of EXO-” she glanced at Jooheon and he mouthed 'crazy fan’, “had forced a taxi driver to chase after EXO, but missed and crashed into their car instead. They both died on impact." 

Jooheon’s mouth fell open at the new information, his mind racing to try and understand what had been told. A sasaeng had caused this? 

"Holy shit, that’s so fucked up,” she exclaimed while Miyra spoke a soft agreement, “I promise it’ll be okay, alright? He’s doing okay now, it’ll all get better.” Jooheon could almost feel her stare burning into him, searing into his soul as she spoke the words with startling conviction that even Jooheon had to look at her. “I know that sounds like a load of bullshit, but I swear it will.”

“You sound so sure, I wish I had the same outlook you do,” Miyra’s smile was small, but it was sincere, genuinely appreciating the effort she was putting into making her feel better. “It just so crazy, you know? Just yesterday, he posted pictures saying that he couldn’t wait for MAMA and then he didn’t even manage to get there.”

Jooheon could only nod in agreement, hovering right next to her. “It is crazy,” he mumbled, just loud enough for her to hear. “_I’m sorry for making you cry, Miyra-yah._”

“Yeah… I just hope his friends are doing okay. Wasn’t there one with him in the car?” She spoke and Jooheon was violently reminded of Changkyun, the blurred image on the TV where he was trapped in the car still haunting him. “I can’t imagine how that would affect him.”

There was a silence that fell over them, where nothing was spoken yet everything was said. All you could hear was the deafening sound of the world moving on, of paper rustling and of people typing. And yet, there was comfort to be found. It was found in the gentle way that she held Miyra’s hand, how she spoke in a soft, caring tone, how she didn’t undermine her friend’s sadness.

Jooheon couldn’t help but think it was rather sweet.

Miyra nodded, wiping her eyes again before inhaling deeply. “Thank you. I just needed to get that off my chest. I’ll probably cry over it some more later, but for now I’m okay.” She smiled at the honesty, rubbing the girl’s back and giving her a thumbs up. 

“If you’re still sad, you can come to me. You know where my lair is,” Miyra laughed, nodding as she hugged her. “I’ll see you later, okay? If you cry, you may as well do it in maths, I bet people will already be crying in there.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Thank you, I’ll talk to you later.”

With a small chuckle, Miyra walked away, a little jollier than she had been moments ago. The sight made Jooheon a little happier also, though the nagging guilt had already settled in his gut. People were upset and affected because of him, that’s what he never wanted; not for him; for his band; for anyone. 

She exhaled, rolling her shoulders as she got up and looked at the tears that had spilled onto the table. With a soft shake of her head, she used another tissue to wipe it away, throwing it in the bin before she turned back to Jooheon. 

An almost scary amount of emotion burnt deep within her gaze, smouldering intensely and slightly lighting itself. Without another word, she made her way up the stairs, going up them two at a time to get there quicker. Following suit, Jooheon was right behind her.

“Here,” he spoke, using her towards the end of the floor before kneeling down on the floor, pointing to the book that he had memorised the title of. “Can you show me this, please?”

She nodded, taking it from the shelf and grimacing as years worth of dust was displaced. “My god, this is one dusty fucker,” she coughed out, accidentally some. Holding a hand in front of her nose, she sniffled as she sat down at one of the tables, the chair creaking under her weight. 

He situated himself awkwardly near her, muttering a small thank you when she pulled a chair closer and he could sit down - he really needed to figure out the mechanics behind his new form.

The cover of the book wasn’t much different to the spine, the golden letters much easier to see as she blew away the layer of grime on the front - a cloud forming about dissipating before their very eyes.

He closely examined the front before nodding at her to turn it over. Pages stained a light yellowed from age were flipped, nothing too interesting coming up until they got past the introductions and special mentions. 

He leant closer, his brain working overtime as he tried to understand what was on the page fully. It seemed to be talking about an experience of living again, though he couldn’t be sure. 

Despite feeling more than awkward at asking her, he knew it would help him to comprehend it better - he’d always been better at listening to english than reading it. “Can you read it, please?”

Thankfully, she didn’t look annoyed at his request, her expression remaining the same as always. “Which part? Or all of it?”

“This part,” pointing to the paragraph that had caught his interest, she did as asked, reading it just loud enough for him to hear, but not enough to attract the attention of other people.

“It says 'I learnt to live again after I had lost everything. I was wandering alone and had no one left in my life, the world felt cold and empty. I lived again when I figured out that I was killing myself by not being part of humanity - depriving myself of other people when we are all social creatures. I had a second chance at life when I formed new relationships among a society I had written off before I decided to dabble in the occult and black magic. It was thrilling, really, to share it with others too,’” he frowned, realising that it was nothing to do with what he wanted. 

“_Bullshit,_” He swore under his breath, frustrated beyond belief at the contents of the book. He had taken the title too literally; damn english and its use of flowery language!

“Not what you wanted?” She asked and he shook his head, annoyed. 

“No,” the useless book was slotted back into the space it had left, the bookshelf moaning and groaning at every minute touch. “I thought it would be about this,” he gestured to himself, “not stupid black magic.”

He missed the slightly amused curl of her lips, the action disappearing within milliseconds as she shook her head, standing up. “I’m going home now,” there wasn’t an particular tone to her voice, but he wasn’t entirely bothered about that now.

“Okay,” came his reply, moving along with her as they left the school’s building and went back home along the same route as the morning. It was tediously dull, yet somehow thrilling now that he knew she didn’t detest him entirely. Or if she did, then she was probably still going to help him regardless. 

The entire way back, she was silent, only speaking again after passing through her front door. She stood next to the door, her jacket hung up and her shoes removed as she stared at Jooheon, making him feel mildly uncomfortable. Her stares were incredibly intimidating: drilling into the deepest depths of his being and laying him out bare for everyone to see and examine. 

“Why are you here?” She asked and he opened his mouth to reply that once again, he didn’t know. “No, why are you **here?**? As a ghost.”

He looked away from her, instead staring at the jacket that hung just behind her. “I-i don’t know. A voice said I have something not finished and it’s not my time to die.”

Mouthing the words he said to herself, she shut her eyes, holding her head in her hands before brushing past her. She didn’t say anything to him, but he could clearly hear her muttering about 'going crazy’ and that she was going to bed. 

The bedroom door slammed shut and Jooheon could sit down, the couch quickly becoming his designated spot. He didn’t follow her, knowing she needed her space after being around him for so long - he knew he wouldn’t have been able to deal with it either. In that regard, she had a million times more patience than he did. 

Instead, he sat up and looked at the coffee table, seeing another picture frame that he hadn’t noticed earlier. It was a dainty thing, the frame itself made from a rose gold painted metal that wound around the edges of the pictures, decorating it nicely and fitting in with the glass of the table. It was of her and Miyrah, the image clearly a selfish that one of them had taken, wide grins on both of their faces as they looked into the camera. 

Jooheon didn’t know this woman, not at all. And likewise, she didn’t know him. But, he supposed, they would have a lot of time to bond over these next few months. 

It was just a question of whether or not it would be useful.


	4. Eternity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Speech in italics is Korean

When Jooheon opened his eyes again, it was to the feeling of an odd kind of tranquility - one that he hadn't expected to feel again with his situation; at least, not quite so soon. He supposed it was because he knew he had more support than before, and that she would at least try to help him - even if only due to making a promise to her friend. 

He opened his eyes, sighing quietly as he saw light streaming in through the cracks of the curtains in the living room, assuming that he had 'slept' through the night (he honestly wasn't even sure if he could call it sleep, or if he should call it closing your eyes for hours while still remaining aware).

Stretching - though it was more out of force of habit rather than any need for it - he sat up straight on the sofa, looking over the living room once again. Really, he didn't know what he had been expecting; nothing had changed at all and he doubted it would. 

However, there was something new, though it wasn't in the living room. The sound of rustling caught his attention, his head turning to the left to track down the source of the noise - only to see her walking down the hallway. He didn't speak at all, expecting her to make herself more cereal and ignore him like she'd done before. Even if he was slightly expecting it, he couldn't say that it didn't hurt his feelings.

She walked slowly, moving almost like she expected something terrible to happen. Her head peeked past the wall, looking around the room before settling on him. For a few seconds, she shut her eyes, pushing the hair out of her face as she mumbled something. What was he supposed to make of that reaction?

And once again, she had completely shattered any kind of expectations he had set for her. Instead of walking into the kitchen and ignoring his existence for the third day in a row, she seemed to be heading towards him.

Jooheon almost thought he was dreaming, brows furrowing a little as she sat on the sofa, seeing the cushions dip under her weight while his part remained unaffected. 

Continuing to watch her, he could barely hide his shock when she turned to smile at him: a sheepish one that looked slightly guilty more than pleased. 

"You really are real, huh?" She asked, a question seemingly more for herself than for him. "I really thought I was hallucinating, but I guess not." Her hand lifted for a split second, like she was doing to hold it pur for a handshake before she let it drop back to her lap again, realising that situation was far from something where you could apply normal human interactions. "Your name is Jooheon, right?"

He nodded, too bewildered to be happy that she had pronounced his name correctly. "Yes."

He heard her swallow, the sound telling of all the feelings she was trying to wade through. He knew trying to figure out his own felt like wading through the deepest waters, so he understood - perhaps a little too much. 

"I want to say that I'm sorry," Jooheon's mouth dropped open, eyes wide as she spoke. "I'm sorry for being so rude to you when you clearly didn't deserve it. This isn't an excuse, but I've never really dealt with this kind of thing before," managing a soft smile in his direction, he heard her shaky inhale before she looked at him fully, eyes boring into his own and making him feel more human than he had for the past few days. "I was hoping we could start over."

There was a silence that fell over them both, one full of uncertainty that tainted the air around them and made the world shrink until it consisted of just them. 

"We can," Jooheon spoke finally, getting over his momentary brain freeze, "I want to start again too."

She looked at him again, sceptical that he was accepting because he had no other choice. "Really?"

He nodded. "Really."

Her lips curled upwards into a soft smile, one that enhanced her features and incredible amount. Even if it wasn't the same one as in the picture on her dressing table, he couldn't stop himself from thinking that she looked rather pretty when she wasn't frowning at him. "Thank you, I was worried you would hate me," she paused for a moment, "I'm (y/n)."

He mouthed her name, tasting it on his tongue and storing it in his memory. It suited her a lot, a name finally put to a face. 

He held out his hand, more so to be polite than for any actual contact. "I'm Jooheon, it's nice to meet you." Her amusement was clear, the soft twinkle of mirth in her eyes was worth the slight tinge of sadness that went through him as her hand passed right through hers; he could almost feel her warmth. 

She shifted on the sofa, the cushions moulding to her body as she leant against them, chewing on her lip. "I'm going to try and help you. I don't know if I'll be very good at it, but I want to try anyway." 

That was all he wanted to hear - to know that he wasn't in this alone when it felt like the entire world was against him, laughing at him as they pointed their fingers at his fallen figure. No matter how hard he prayed and begged to hear that voice again, not even a whisper was spoken to him. 

"Thank you, that means a lot to me," he spoke, words so fragile that they might have broken had his voice not been soft and sincere. "I wish I knew more to help."

Watching her reach over to the coffee table, she pulled out the laptop that was situated under it, turning it on before glancing at him again. "Don't worry about it, we can work with what we have," there was another pause, "you are comfortable with speaking english, right? I can use a translator if that helps you."

"I can do english, but it's not fluent," a sheepish smile played on his lips, "sorry."

"No, don't apologise. I don't know any Korean either, so you're doing better than me," her attention went back to the laptop, a frown on her face as she noticed that it wasn't working properly. Lines appeared on the screen, similar to static on old televisions, zigzagging across the screen and making it impossible to use. "What the hell? It was working fine a few days ago." 

Standing up, she held the laptop in her arms as she walked towards the WiFi hub, a look of confusion on her face as she moved away. 

"What's wrong?" 

"That's weird. It's working again," staring hard at the laptop screen, she slowly walked back towards him. "When I moved closer to you, it starts to act weird again. I think your presence messes with it." She set the laptop down on the coffee table, going back into the corridor before reemerging with her phone. 

Holding the device close to her, she took a few steps towards him, showing him the screen where it was beginning to malfunction - making it almost unusable when she was standing right next to him. 

"Damn, I was right. You do mess with it," a couple of feet away from him was good enough, the screen still working though some lines and static forming on it. "I'll sit here instead." 

She perched on the coffee table, legs crossed under her to spread out her weight as the laptop wobbled on her lap, steadied by her hand holding the side. "What did the voice say to you?"

Jooheon barely needed to think, the words having been echoing in his mind since the day he'd heard them. "To do something with… Honesty. Something I did before." 

Her fingers drummed on the surface of the coffee table and he reveled in the simple action; he had never thought that something as simple as having a conversation would feel so fulfilling. 

She chewed on her lips before typing. "Something you've done before but now with honesty… Huh, that's really vague."

"I know," he let his shoulders slump, plucking at the chain on his trousers, watching it jingle and flop around his fingers before letting go. "The voice said I have 3 months too."

Thankfully, she didn't need an explanation, understanding almost immediately what he was hinting towards. Her eyes searched his face for a moment, almost reaching into his soul before they moved back to the laptop screen. 

"Something with honesty," She repeated, humming to herself as she typed something into the computer, "what was your job again?" 

"A rapper for Monsta X," he replied, sitting up a little straighter as she mumbled it under her breath, typing it into google. 

He knew all the articles would be about his death, each one of them talking about how the car crash resulted in this. And he really didn't know how to feel about it; he wanted people to know his band, his pride, for their music and drive, not for a tragic accident that he knew could have been avoided. 

Hues flickered over the results, some of them reflected in her gaze though his improved eyesight was not nearly that good to see what it said. 

"Is there anything you think you could have done better in Monsta X?" She questioned and he took a moment to think. 

What exactly did he think he could do better in Monsta X? Maybe he could have put more effort into performing in his concerts - though he knew he always tried his hardest, wanting to give himself and monbebe something to remember. Or perhaps it was how he barely spent time looking after himself, always striving to work better and harder, to push himself beyond his limits and then some more, it could be his flaw was that he never sincerely took time off to focus on himself and just himself. 

But that… That didn't make sense, Jooheon couldn't understand why that would be something he is told to do better. How could he give himself more time when he had a limit to the seconds he had left? It almost made his head hurt to think about. 

Instead, he only shook his head forlornly, a subtle frown on his plush lips as he looked at his lap, his fingers flexing as he stared at the rings that glistened on them; the light passing by them though he could still remember their shimmer under the light of the sun. 

It all seemed to hit him at once, his own morality seemingly slipping past his grip like the finest grained sand. His throat felt like it was closing up, the urge to cry (yet the inherent inability to) made him stand up abruptly, attracting her attention as she looked at him. 

His expression twisted and turned, displaying his turmoil; Jooheon always did wear his heart on his sleeve.

"Are you okay?" She asked and her words almost seemed to drown out amongst his thoughts, his nod quick but jerky. "You can sit in my room if you'd like," she offered and he was in no position to refuse it. 

He didn't pause to see if his soft mumble of 'thank you,' had reached her ears, almost running to try and escape _something_ as he went into her room. If he had been more coherent, he would have thought about why he found this room so calming to be in considering the circumstances in which he first appeared there. 

Head resting in the palm of his hands, his fingers ran through his hair - never messing it up nor moving even a single strand out of line. His eyes stayed glued to the ceiling, looking at the white that blended and swirled around the central light, staring hard at the blankness of it while trying to make sense of his reality (one that was slipping away from him too quickly).

As he laid against the bed, he could hear the faint sound of music playing, the familiar beats comforting him greatly as he heard singing. At least she seemed to like it, playing the entire song through before moving onto the next one. 

Closing his eyes, the soft vibrations made him feel at ease, the sounds of his friend's voices easing the aching of his being. Nothing was okay, but nothing was terrible. 

His exhales were softer, more controlled as the hours slipped by, melting into each other and no longer seeming harsh and jarring as the clock's ticks faded into the background, merely turning into white noise. 

And he barely even noticed when there was a knock on the door, the soft taps against the wood making him open his eyes as he sat up. The door opened a few seconds later and she walked in, offering him a gentle simper that he was quick to return. 

Slowly, she sat beside him, the bed creaking a little as she did so. The sound of a soft exhale reached his ears, making him turn his head to look at her, her side profile showing the slope of her nose and the silver lined shape of her lips. 

"Would you like to talk to me?" she asked and he waited for her to elaborate. "I know it must be hard for you, especially when you're in a country that isn't your home. Maybe you'll feel better if you just talk? In korean or anything, I don't mind. I'll just listen to you."

He nodded, taking a deep breath before he began to ramble, trying to get all the thoughts that had been plaguing him out of his head. 

"_God, I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I feel so alone and useless when I have nothing to go off of. The voice said 'do something I've done before with sincerity', what the hell does that even mean?,_" he paused, seeing that she was still looking at him, all her attention solely for him as he spoke. "_Like you said, I'm in a country I don't know and I can't speak english fluently to get around, plus I'm dead and it's not like I could anyway. You're the only one I know here and the only one who can see me, and you ignored me. That really hurt and I'm just… I'm so concerned about my friends. I don't know how they're coping and I feel so horrible about all of this. Especially Changkyun he-,_" Jooheon closed his eyes, remembering the look of horror in Changkyun's eyes as he had reached out for him, his fingers barely scraping the younger's suit before he had gone limp. "_He saw me die._"

They sat in silence and he knew she didn't understand a word he said though she had willingly listened to him speak and that was all he could have hoped for. 

Instead she reached out, seeing his hand resting on his lap and gently hovering her own hand over it. It looked rather absurd, her hand floating over his, though he could have teared up anyway. The sentiment meant much more to him than she would ever fully know.

"I'm really sorry that this is happening, but I promise that I'll do my best for you. It'll be okay, I'll make sure of it," He nodded, wanting some desperately to believe her and take her words as the truth. 

His palm faced upwards, translucent fingers curling around her hand as he watched the living world interact with his. 

And her lips curled upwards, her smile oh-so beautiful as her eyes gleamed, brimming with emotion and honesty that he never really saw; never experienced without it being in his own reflection. 

"That means so much. Thank you."

* * *

"Could you wait out there for a moment?" She asked, an earphone in one ear to make her seem less weird. Jooheon was hesitant, not knowing what she had been planning, but he was still willing to go along with it nonetheless. 

While he had been expecting her to go to her lecture and go straight home again, he was mildly surprised when they took a detour towards the art rooms, the bright and colourful corridors grabbing his attention as they walked down it. He was a little curious about what she was doing, though decided that it wasn't worth going in and potentially annoying her. 

So to take his mind off of his heightened need to know what she was doing, he decided to look at some of the art that was displayed. Some of it was modern art, the kind that he thought was silly and performative with no real meaning other than to be pretentious, and the rest of it was beautiful and meticulous works that he admitted greatly. 

His favourite, however, had to be the painting of two lovers who sat hand in hand, both of them gazing up at the endless night sky where galaxies were coloured in bright shades of pink and purple, with white stars dotting the image. The title was plain, though it spoke a million words: A world beyond ours. 

Jooheon could have easily spent more time looking at it and absorbing all the details, but he soon heard his name being called by her again. 

"Joo," she spoke, walking next to him and looking at the painting, "ah, I like this one too. A girl called Alexi did it, she's very talented."

"I agree," Jooheon looked at her, noticing a board tucked under her arm that had not been there a few minutes ago. His curiosity itched at him, nagging at him before he couldn't hold it back any longer. "What is that?"

Beginning to walk, she squeezed the item he was referring to. "This? It's a Ouija board."

Upon hearing the name, he couldn't help but frown, his distaste clear as he glared at the wooden board vehemently. He remembered those nights where Changkyun and Minhyuk would burst into his room late at night and scare him senseless with talk of ghosts and demons. 

"Why? You're talking to me now?"

Laughing a little at his expression, she only shook her head, the corridors becoming more familiar as he recognised the route as the one that headed towards the library. "I want to see if I can contact any spirits who are in similar situations to you," she explained, and while the idea seemed crazy, he understood what she meant, "or maybe that voice you mentioned. It doesn't hurt to try."

No, Jooheon thought, it really doesn't hurt to try, but that didn't mean he wasn't scared. 

Nonetheless, he did find it a little odd that they were still in the school. "You're not doing it in your home?" 

"I'm crazy, but not crazy enough to do this at home. If the library is haunted, it doesn't matter. It barely feels like an actual place anyway, especially the second floor," rushing up the stairs, with him following behind, she situated herself in the far corner, towards the area where there were less actual books and more bookshelves that were matted with dust and disuse. 

The board was spread out and she quickly googled the rules (with Jooheon moving away so her phone didn't start glitching). Once she was satisfied with it, she stared long and hard at the board.

"Okay," came the almost reluctant words from her mouth, "clearly I don't have a second person, but we can make do, I guess." Jooheon snorted, having seen the rules before where said to do it with at least two people, perhaps he counted as the second?

The second floor felt eerily quiet once she had stopped talking and he pursed his lips, sitting down beside her to look at the board. 

"Right, let there be no evil forces or spirits. Is there anyone wanting to talk to me?" Clearly, she was slightly on edge, and he couldn't blame her. He always hated it when his band mates messed around saying they had seen demons and spirits; it never failed to freak him out. 

Her fingers remained firmly on the planchette, waiting for something to happen and she looked at Jooheon with a vague disbelieving look. However, as soon as she had looked at him, the planchette began to move and go to the letters 'h' and 'i'. 

"Uh, hi. It's nice to meet you," she spoke a little awkwardly, but Jooheon was hardly paying attention, feeling as though someone was near him, but he couldn't place where. 

He looked around, frowning a little as she asked questions and received brief responses. Suddenly, a feeling of something brushing against his back made him yelp, his eyes wide as he jerked around - only to see nothing but the balcony. "What the hell?"

Glancing at him, she gave him a concerned look with furrowed brows, though didn't move her hands. "Are you in the same position as Jooheon?" She asked, waiting for a question before it spelt out 'yes.' "Are you telling the truth?"

There was no movement and Jooheon shivered, shuffling closer to her to try and get rid of the icy feeling running down his spine. "I-i feel something," he murmured, drawing her attention. 

However, just before she could reply, the piece moved to 'yes.' Despite being suspicious, she didn't question it, instead choosing to try and communicate further. 

"How long do you have left?" The planchette shifted, moving slowly along the board, almost as if it was toying with them rather than saying anything outright. Jooheon could easily see the beginning of vexation on her visage, her lips drawing into a line as she watched it. 

Finally, after watching for nearly 30 seconds, it spelt out 'a week'. 

Jooheon shifted again, the chill returning as he rolled his shoulders. The feeling was incredibly eerie, like something was surveying him from behind, not making itself known fully yet still letting him know it was there. "Please, ask them what they need to do."

"Do you know what you need to do?" He could see her brows begin to furrow too, fingertips turning white as she pressed down. That made his own curiosity pique, wanting to know what she was doing. 

And slowly, the planchette dragged across the board, the slide so gruelling and long that he wanted to reach out and shove it along himself. 

However, as it communicated, a bad feeling arose in his gut, suddenly feeling incredibly small and helpless as a freezing cold chill ran along his back. 

It was small at first, something he could ignore - thinking it was his own mind attempting to trick and belittle him. And yet, as he carried on watching quietly, he felt more and more like a sitting duck.

A dark, inky feeling of loneliness began to creep up on him, his mood beginning to deteriorate rapidly. A cloud hung over him, looking above him and threatening to consume him, it's invisible claws hovering over his head. 

And then, he felt it. 

Terror arose within him, his hand instinctively going to hers as the feeling of nails scratching down his spine made him inhale in a horrible, rattling way, similar to that of death's own. It wasn't gentle scratching, the kind of scratching Hyungwon did when he asked him to reach an itchy spot, instead it felt almost like someone trying to tear into his skin - wanting to rip out something from inside of him and leave him an empty husk.

"Say goodbye!" She looked at him again, not understanding what he wanted and unable to take her hands off the key.

His expression was desperate, a feeling akin to that of asphyxiation making him pant, his heart blackening with every second that the board was used. The spirit, or whatever was on the other end, was trying to harm him. 

The fingers moved up his body, making its way to his neck before squeezing it tightly, his eyes widening as he frantically tried to get her attention. "SAY GOODBYE!"

Without a second to spare she forcefully yanked the planchette to the goodbye, the connection terminated as he panted, looking worse for wear as he began to cough - astounding her. He was hunched over, fingers grasping desperately at the floor as he tried to regain control of himself. It was scary to witness, let alone be a part of. 

"What happened?"

"I don't… I don't know," he wheezed, the claustrophobic feeling leaving him immediately, only the residual effects of the darkness and gloom hanging around. "The ghost is not good. It lied."

She frowned, shoving the board away. "I thought so, but I carried on. It spelt out your name and I'm certain it was going to say soul before I cut it off. Damn bastard." Her hand hovered over his, wanting to make sure he was okay before she did anything else. 

Minutes ticked by, his nerves still on high alert, but he was now able to breathe, no longer having the weight on his chest that threatened to kill him again.

"I'm giving this back. We're never touching this again," her words were final, no room for argument as she picked it up with a look of distaste and a scowl that might have scared away the dead; Jooheon had no qualms regardless.

Hovering close to her as she walked back to the art corridor, he was glad to have someone human at his side when he had the faintest glimpse of what life on the spectre side was like - and he couldn't say he favoured it at all. 

* * *

When she had next decided to go out without it being for the reason of school, a week had passed. He couldn't say he was most pleased with the amount of time that had slipped by, yet he was understanding as he had seen her furiously typing away on her laptop at ridiculous times in both the night and morning - the sight making him glad that his decision was to pursue his dreams and not a typical career.

They were walking together quietly, with Jooheon unknowing of the destination as she guided him. 

An earphone was placed in her ear, the wire dangling and moving with her every movement while her head turned to him. "Wait, so how far away can you be from me before you get pulled back?" She questioned and he frowned a little, trying to think. 

"I'm not sure, but it's not too big," she hummed, glancing at her watch.

"Okay, do you want to test it out quickly? I know a big field where we can do it, it'll take a few minutes," Jooheon readily agreed, also wanting to know exactly how far he could separate from her before he felt that consuming chest compressing feeling. 

Taking a detour, she began to walk through a residential area, his gaze following how the structures seemed to dominate the skyline, overtaking the horizon and making it almost impossible to see beyond them. It reminded him a lot of the gangnam district back home, with many of the richer people of Seoul living there. "This area is rich?" He asked and she nodded.

"Yeah, it's a kind of retirement area, but well off young people live here too," laughing a little while they passed by an especially large house, she shook her head, "clearly I don't live here."

He smiled a little at her joke, her sense of humour amusing enough that it had him grinning at inappropriate times. She seemed to like muttering things under her breath - many of the things she said highly unsuitable for the ears of others. 

After passing by the homes, she made her way through a narrow passageway (he didn't even think anyone was allowed past that but he digressed) and up a slight hill. Finally, she jumped over a rusted gate and grinned in triumph. "Here we are!" She declared, motioning broadly to the large grass area in front of them. "I have no idea if this area is private or what, but I don't care about the rich. It's a field, what harm can I do?" 

Though, she did make sure to shield herself from the view of the road by hiding herself in between some of the large trees that were there.

"I just keep walking?" Jooheon questioned and she nodded, situating herself in a tree and swinging her legs. 

"As far as you can go before you bounce back."

Deciding to run to make the process faster, he found he rather enjoyed it - his muscles and lung capacity no longer a limiting factor as he rushed by. It almost felt like bring a little child again, finding fields to mess around and do stupid things in. 

Then he looked back and noticed that she seemed like a little dot in the distance, his own chest beginning to constrict as he slowed down, now taking slow steps forward. She waved at him and he waved back, though he wasn't sure if she could even see him.

And when his chest felt like it was going to explode, he stopped and took note of the distance. He would guess around 200 or so metres, keeping the number in his head as he pushed forward and shut his eyes, hearing the air whip around him as he ended up at her side. 

"What the-" came her exclamation, startled by his sudden appearance beside her. "Okay, that's weird but also cool."

Unable to help his soft chuckle, he nodded; it certainly was weird. "I think the distance is … 200 meters?" 

"Yeah, looked about that much. That's not far at all," her lips pursed and she rolled her shoulders, jumping out of the tree right after, I guess you're just not supposed to be too far from me. Wish I knew why."

He could definitely share that sentiment, still unable to think of one clear reason why she would be the one that he was attached to and not someone that had a clear and definite relationship with. No matter how much he thought about it, none of it made sense and he doubted it ever would. Jooheon shook his head, snapping himself out of his own musings. "Where are we going?" 

"It's like this, um, spiritual person, I guess? I'm not really sure how to describe her, but I've looked at lots of reviews and videos. If they're all lying then…" She shrugged, not seeming too bothered though Jooheon was the complete opposite, already having flashbacks to their ouija board try out (he was very glad to see that board go back to its owner). "They said that sometimes she doesn't get everything accurate, but her readings and advice are helpful. We'll just have to see for ourselves if she's actually real like these guys say or if I've wasted my money."

Jooheon didn't know whether to be doubtful of this woman or not, and he was leaning more towards the former. He had only encountered one person who could see and sense him, and he wasn't sure if he was willing to be led on a wild goose chase. "Are you sure?" He asked simply as they began to walk back in the direction they'd come in. 

"Yeah, I just… I'm trying to think of everything I can so we have a better chance of getting you back, but I've never been interested in paranormal stuff before so I'm at a loss. I'm sorry," he frowned instantly at her apology - not meaning to make her feel like her efforts were juvenile or futile. 

"No need for sorry," he spoke quickly, stopping in his tracks as she paused also. "I'm very thankful for you, but I don't want you to waste time or money on silly things. I'm happy I'm with you," he desperately wished he could have said more, he wanted to say more, yet his brain stopped working and he could only focus on the soft smile that played on her lips. 

"No worries, Jooheon, I appreciate the concern, I promise," she chuckled lightly, walking again and hearing past the houses, some children now in their front gardens and playing with each other, the loud and raucous sounds of the kids telling of youthfulness and joy; his heart ached at the sight.

The rest of the journey there was a comfortable kind of quiet, the sort that Jooheon could relax in and take time to admire the world with. While this situation wasn't what you could call a 'holiday', it was certainly an opportunity to see someplace new, and with a native at that. 

His love for travelling brimmed and overflowed with every beautiful building they passed; each colossal park that was filled with life and vegetation; all the people that walked by that he would never seen had he been in Seoul. In a way, this was an escape from his busy and bustling idol life.

"I think her shop is here somewhere," she stood a little away from him, trying to look at her phone without his presence interfering with it. "Yeah, just down this road, I'm pretty sure."

He chewed on the inside of his cheek, not knowing how to feel about this. Though, he chose to keep his mouth shut as she tucked her phone back into her pocket - if it turned out that it could help him in some way, then he would rather not look the part of a fool. Instead, he followed behind her as they walked into a small back alleyway.

It didn't particularly strike him as a place that he would find out something profound in, especially when he could barely see the sky above through the gap of the towering buildings, the narrow gap meaning that he couldn't have walked side by side with her. The place wasn't the prettiest either: the sound of a leak echoing and bouncing off of the crumbling and decaying grey walls. He had to wonder when was the last time any of these buildings had seen a fresh coat of paint. His dubious attitude was only further amplified by the creaking sign that signalled the shop that they were looking for, the colours of the wooden sign seeping into the exposed grains and becoming a blur of muddy browns and unappealing hues.

Jooheon shook his head, trying to remove his prejudices; not everything always had to look pretty to work, he reminded himself.

"Here we go," she mumbled as she pushed open the door, not really meaning for him to hear it.

A bell chimed, a soft and rather calming sound. While the outside may have seemed dismal and unpromising, he couldn't quite say the same for the interior; it looked rather cosy, like a place he could come to in order to relax and sleep for a little while. The colour scheme was typical for what he would expect from a psychic, the royal purples and deep crimsons, though he appreciated the bright splashes of gold and silver that attracted his attention. 

"I like this place, it's comfy," he spoke as she nodded in agreement a moment later, looking around to try and find the woman who was supposed to help them. 

Just as he began to scan the objects that lined the shelves, he heard foreign footsteps. Glancing back towards her, he realised that the psychic was in front of her, greeting her with a welcoming smile while holding her hands. The woman had a gentle aura around her, reminding him greatly of the aunties that would call him handsome and dote on him whenever he went to small, hole in the wall restaurants. 

"You must be the young lady who booked a spirit connection?" Upon her nod, the woman smiled, "I'm Madam Ignis. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too," She greeted, guided by her hand towards a room in the back, the colour scheme more or less the same, yet somehow seeming a little more domineering, the woman's aura seemingly accentuated by the surroundings. 

"Please, take a seat," doing as she was told, her hands were held as fingers stroked over her palms. "I recall you asking if I would be able to aid you in getting a spirit to move on?"

"Yeah, uh, they're kinda just lingering, and I'm not sure how to help them," She spoke, Jooheon deciding to sit in the chair beside her and watch a little more intimately. "I just really wanted some advice on how to do that."

Madam Ignis hummed, closing her eyes. "Is the spirit someone you were close to in their lifetime?" She shook her head; she had never really known of Jooheon's existence before this. "I suspect that, if they weren't someone who had an attachment to you during their life, that you have a connection otherwise, more so like soulmates."

Jooheon blinked, having not expected to have heard that and judging by her expression, neither did she. It was an odd statement, to say the least. 

"Soulmates? I don't… what do you mean by that?" The psychic looked at her, smiling good naturedly, not belittling her for her curiosity.

"It can be described as a twin flame, someone who you may not have met in life may be someone who has great significance to you one way or another. No one really knows how you can find your soulmate, though many people, unfortunately, never meet theirs due to a variety of reasons," She nodded, trying to process that information, "I am picking up that the spirit died a sudden death, one maybe before their time - the means of which, I do not know."

His brows raised, though he was still cautious. Maybe it had just been a lucky guess. He doubted many people lingered after death if they had led fulfilling lives.

"Spirits who die suddenly often have things that are left, whether it is family who are mourning or goals that they have never achieved. More often than not, it's not a physical act that will help them pass on, but seeing that thing that they left become fulfilled," Jooheon leant closer, noticing that the woman's brows furrowed as he did so, her hand on her palm halting as she looked around, as though searching for something. He bit his lip, curious to know if she would notice him there. "My apologies, I was distracted for a moment there."

"No worries," she thought for a moment, "so how could I know what the unfulfilled thing is? For them specifically."

The woman sat up straighter, taking her hands and curling her fingers into her palms. "The spirit attached to you was heavily involved in the media, I'm not sure what specific kind, but I can see images of wealth and people who adored them. The unfulfilled goal is related to their profession, something that they treasure and maybe do not share with others often." 

Jooheon gasped, completely stunned at the woman who was reading him so well. How could she know something like that from just touching her palms and closing her eyes? His eyes were almost comically wide, the sight normally would have been slightly amusing, though she was equally as gobsmacked; any and all doubt either of them had completely disappeared. 

"Oh wow," she mumbled, chewing her bottom lip, "so, something that links to their daily life? That narrows it down a bit."

"I'm glad, though I apologise, I cannot figure out what the goal is. That may be something that you are more trained for than I am," the psychic's smile was soft and accepting, patting her hand. "Is there anything else you would like for me to read? I realise that was a short session."

"I-I'm not sure," she spoke, still reeling from the information she had already gotten. "That's really all I needed."

There was a nod followed by a short pause where Madam Ignis looked at the wall behind her before creating eye contact again, the warm feeling around the woman relaxing her, Jooheon's own shoulders slumping. "I hope you are able to help the spirit pass over, I sense it is bringing you great tension. Anything can be done with perseverance and I hope my telling has helped you."

"It has, thank you," She got up, thanking the woman again before leaving, the bell chiming again as she opened the door, the breeze from the outside making her clothes rustle and move. "That was so… wow. Guess that money was kind of well spent."

Jooheon nodded, not caring as half his body was phased through a building as he walked beside her. "I thought it was a joke, but she said 'someone in the media'."

"That's the part that got me too, everything else was kind of vague and just… yeah," he watched her expression remain the same, though her lips were slightly more swollen from how much she had bitten them. "Crazy stuff, but now we have a more specific range of things we can look at."

And though the method she had cooked up, going online and looking through reviews of local mediums who were likely preying on the vulnerable and lost, was slightly nonsensical and disconnected from reality, he was glad that they had decided to go.

Yet, most of all, he was glad to see that spark of hope in her eyes, one that made the rest of her features glow and brought his spirits up. 

Perhaps, he thought, he could get used to this after all. 


End file.
